For the past handful of Summer and Winter Olympics, there was always a Sega-branded game accompanying them. They would either release a standalone sports compilation, trying to look and feel somewhat accurate to the event, or would come up with their bread and butter, a Mario & Sonic sports compilation. I’ll be honest: those games were simple, but not bad at all. In fact, Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 was pretty decent, even if it ended up coming out nearly two years before the actual Olympic Games. Thanks a lot, Covid. This year, there is no Sega sports compilation. The Paris games are due to begin in just a few days, as of the time of writing, and nothing else is out there to capitalize on the hype generated by the Olympics. Well, besides 34 Sports Games: World Edition.

Why play foosball in real life when you can have fun with this much lamer virtual counterpart?

This 34 Sports Games: World Edition compilation reminded me a lot of the lovely era of Wii minigame compilation shovelware. Remember Carnival Games, and other bargain bin titles comprised of a bunch of gimmicky, cheap-looking minigames shoved together into a single package? That’s this game in a nutshell. With that being said, 34 Sports Games: World Edition is not trying to take advantage of the Dualsense’s features (that would have taken some actual effort), so what we have here is thirty-four simplistic sports-themed minigames to distract little Timmy for an hour or two.

Let me get the good out of the way: it’s a crappy game, but it doesn’t control poorly. In theory, it works as a “pick up and play” experience, not unlike a bunch of (underwhelming) Mario Party minigames. Each sport event is a small minigame which can be beaten in about 45 seconds, very rarely using more than three buttons on a controller. It’s responsive enough, even if each game isn’t the most exciting thing in the world. I can commend 34 Sports Games: World Edition for having some sort of variety, but it’s a clear case of quantity over quality. They wouldn’t have focused on the amount of minigames included in the title if that wasn’t the case.

I have no idea how this minigame works. It’s the only one that made no sense at all.

Playing it isn’t terrible, albeit far from interesting or engaging; looking at it, and listening to it… those two things are a freaking burden. Let me be straightforward: this looks and runs just like your run-of-the-mill shovelware title from the Wii era. The character models are simplistic, the lighting and shadow effects are completely nonexistent. It doesn’t even run at the most impressive of framerates to justify the pathetic visual quality; it’s just a rushed job. I was playing a non-remastered version of Star Wars: Bounty Hunter on my PS5 right before tackling 34 Sports Games: World Edition and that 21 year old thing managed to look better than this 2024 title, to no one’s shock. As to be expected, the sound department is equally terrible.

It’s like California Games, but without any of the attitude. Or the fun. Or California as a whole.

There’s a lot of variety in the minigame selection, and a few extra modes, but there’s no denying that 34 Sports Games: World Edition is just a painfully mediocre collection of sports-themed minigames meant to cash in on the lack of an official Olympic Games title. Whilst far from the worst minigame compilation I have ever played, this is a completely forgettable and uninteresting piece of shovelware that simply doesn’t have enough redeeming qualities to warrant its hefty pricetag. You might as well just stick with the now five year old Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 if you really want to scratch that Olympic itch.

34 Sports Games: World Edition is available now on PS4, PS5, Xbox One, Xbox Series S/X and Switch.

Reviewed on PS5.

A copy of 34 Sports Games: World Edition was provided by the publisher.