Nintendo really is a kid’s company at heart, no matter how they change their trajectory and their library. Sure, the eShop might be rife with thinly veiled sex titles, and the cost of a new set of Joycons is more than a week’s worth of groceries, but, deep down, they care about the children. Players all universally agree that the best part of Mario 64 wasn’t the game itself, but the opportunity to play and stretch Mario’s face in 3D at the beginning. Okay, maybe no one thinks that, but it was still fun. Nintendo, probably in the runup to a bigger celebration, decided to double down on that singular moment and make a longer, more in depth experience out of those twenty seconds you spent close to three decades ago. Brand new, fully polished and, best of all, free, players can now grab Hello, Mario! from the Nintendo eShop.

Out of right field, Nintendo has released Hello, Mario! as a gift to players the world over to enjoy some fun, silly and interactive time with Mario. Players are introduced to Mario’s head and, on occasion, his hands in a series of light interactions that depend entirely on your patience and your experimentation. Initially, you’ll be able to do everything you could in the Mario 64 startup. Pull his moustache, flick his nose, spin him around and enjoy the reactions. Mario will spout classic Mario sounds and effects, and you can get enough enjoyment out of these minor moments as someone who just likes Mario in general.

Curious players will notice the Question Mark Block in the corner, which gives access to a number of other activities that show up. The Toad photographer feels…redundant, but makes sense for players who are enjoying Hello, Mario! on their smartphones (simultaneous release). You can frame up Mario in a series of different backdrops, which Mario will introduce by singing along with the iconic music as it appears. I mean, that’s a thing nowadays in a big way: constantly getting photos and screenshots of your game so that you can share them with friends and other players around the world. Though this game is marketed at the kindergarten crowd, they want to familiarize children with the concept as soon as possible so they can get into the groove when they’re old enough to enjoy Mario Odyssey 3: Mario vs Fortnite or whatever the hell will be out in a decade’s time.

Beyond that, the other interactions all have expected effects that are pleasant enough. A mushroom makes Mario bigger, while a bad interaction with the Cheep Cheep can make him small. You’ve got a star for invincibility, and a Warp Pipe to introduce other baddies and have Mario play some inconsequential minigames. You can hit a Question Mark Block to get coins and, on occasion, a mushroom, which…is redundant since there’s already a mushroom. You can keep changing the area and the interactions that happen on the screen for visual and aural stimulation, but there isn’t an end game, per say.

The only endgame of Hello, Mario! is that Mario will, after a time, fall asleep. Once this happens, the idea is that kids will take a break and step away from the phone/Switch to go do something else. It’s so funny that Nintendo is obsessed with both getting players locked in but also in making them take breaks. The Virtual Boy tried this, but that was to prevent ocular damage. Here’s the thing, though: once Mario goes to sleep, you can just end the program. If you close it and reopen it, Mario is bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to play again. It’s like that one episode of Jim Henson’s The StoryTeller where all the spirits of Heaven have no memory, but Mario won’t send you into an existential crisis at the age of ten like the Muppets did.

While I can’t complain about the price, I will say that I’m on the fence about Nintendo releasing these sort of nanny apps. Sure, for an adult, it’s a flash in the pan enjoyment that results in some silly screenshots, and people will probably get a few clicks streaming this while doing fun things to Mario. But I can 100% see kids just staring at this, poking Mario and getting into the groove for quickly closing and reopening the app to keep the party going. It’s got elements of the traditional fukuwarai style of activity that appeals to the young and old, and it doesn’t contain ads or insidious marketing, so it is up to the parents to be mindful and set timers, even if the game tries its best to limit players.

Overall, I really enjoy this concept and the execution of Hello, Mario! It’s simple, it’s cute, but it’s also got some incredible production value for what’s being delivered. The music is on point, and Mario sings and does his best to be more than just a reactionary presence. If he becomes super-sized, he’ll play peek-a-boo with you for a little bit. You can get a high score of your own accord bouncing around and breaking bubbles. And, honestly, it’s sometimes nice just to decompress and enjoy a bit of nonsense once in a while. Adults won’t get stuck in a loop with this, and why not indulge your inner child for a moment for the price of free?

If you’ve been jonesing for the next iteration of Mario Odyssey or even Mario Wonder, this isn’t going to be for you. If you’re an adult who is looking for indepth and next level gameplay, this isn’t for you. If you’re someone looking for a game that will entertain you for longer than ten minutes, then this definitely is not for you. But if you’re a fan of ultra casual gaming, don’t want to spend any money, and just love Mario the way that I do, then Hello, Mario! is a fantastic piece of oddity to add to your collection. While no time limit has been announced, I recommend to grab it fast: you never know when Nintendo could decide that this latest installment is ultimately a waste of time, and then another piece of Mario history is forever locked away to the lucky few. Let’s-a-go.

Graphics: 9 Bubbly, clean and bright, the engagement factor of the visuals is top notch and I adore how much the screen pops for Switch and smarphones alike. A decent variety in backgrounds and characters keep this free title surprisingly diverse.	Gameplay: 5.0 Look…you poke Mario. You can use the buttons or touchscreen, but you’re poking Mario. You can change how and why he looks certain ways, but you figure out the gameplay and the “end game” within five seconds. It’s got the complexity of a fidget spinner. This is a kid’s game.
Sound: 10 Full voicework from Mario, plus some iconic music tracks and perfect sound effects. It’s got the length of scoring of a television commerical, but it’s pitch perfect from start to finish.	Fun Factor: 7.0 This got my attention and kept it for longer than I would have imagined. It’s not groundbreaking, but it’s cute enough to live on my Switch for the near future and keep me entertained whenever I just want a Mario pick-me-up.
Final Verdict: 7

Hello, Mario! is available now on Nintendo Switch, iOS and Android.

Reviewed on Nintendo Switch.