For the past twenty years, arcade parlors, laundromats and bowling alleys have featured countless Fast & Furious arcade cabinets. I am 100% sure you’ve seen one of those before, and I bet you’ve played them, like, once. To be honest, even though they were developed by Eugene Jarvis, the man behind the Cruis’n series, they have never been great. Even after countless sequels and revisions, these Fast & Furious arcade games have never been anything other than a novelty. At the very least, the older titles somewhat resembled their source material, featuring imagery, characters and cars from the first few movies. The last Fast & Furious arcade game, which has just been ported to consoles, didn’t even bother doing that. And sadly, this is what we’re talking about today.

It might look cool in a still, but let me assure you, this game is visually underwhelming.

Fast & Furious: Arcade Edition is basically a cheaper Cruis’n game with just one or two bits to make it vaguely resemble a Fast & Furious product. It retains the same bonkers (and deeply unrealistic) gameplay you’d expect from those Raw Thrills arcade games, but instead of being about merely racing against each other for the best time, this takes a more objective-centered approach: you gotta complete an objective (which is always just reaching the finish line and doing a stunt) before the timer runs out. Whether you win it or not is somewhat irrelevant in this case.

If you think this game has received the same treatment as the console port of Cruis’n Blast, as in, getting extra content or more modes, you’d be dead wrong. You have eight cars (none of which are iconic cars from the movies), half a dozen stages (also none of them resembling anything from the films), and that’s it. If you’re waiting for Toretto to show up, even in PNG format, I’m sorry, but that’s a big nope as well. The only elements that tie this game to its source material are the fact you actually drive cars in dumb scenarios, and the font used when a new round begins. They didn’t even bother adding the actual Dodge Charger driven by Toretto, for crying out loud.

You can use your nitrous boost like… twice per race.

Visually-speaking, Fast & Furious: Arcade Edition reaffirms the fact it is based on a series of games that have been going on since 2004. Even if the sheer absurd amount of crap happening onscreen, be it the flashing lights or the particles, might look appealing at first, or at least distracting enough, there’s no denying that this game looks like a Wii title at best. Honestly, it runs like one as well. It certainly did not receive the same porting love as Cruis’n Blast, as this title barely manages to keep its framerate in check, and never even daring to reach 60fps.

All you had to do was shove in an exact replica of Toretto’s car into the game. And you weren’t able to do so.

It’s just an underwhelming cash grab. By featuring dated visuals, unresponsive controls, and barely any connection to its source material whatsoever, there is no way I can recommend this console version of Fast & Furious: Arcade Edition to anyone, even die-hard fans of the franchise. It only makes matters worse when you realize that a much similar game, Cruis’n Blast, by the same developer, was ported a while back in a much more polished state, and with even more content than the arcade original. This particular port just hasn’t received the same kind of care and attention. So why should we even bother?

Fast & Furious: Arcade Edition is available now on Arcade, PS5, Xbox Series S/X and Switch.

Reviewed on Switch.

A copy of Fast & Furious: Arcade Edition was provided by the publisher.