Lords of Exile is a game that joins the loyal rankings of “one word games.” Often, reviewers and players need paragraphs and tomes to describe exactly why Bloons TD 6 is better than War and Peace in terms of Bolshevik allegory and superpowered monkeys. I myself often end up in absolute wormholes of nonsense trying to explain the deeper implications of Horatio Goes Snowboarding in an attempt to open up the eyes of my audience to the darkness that abounds. But when you get a single word, it also strikes a special part of the human mind. “Excellent.” “Wonderful.” “Spellbinding.” They’re the blurb words you expect on movie posters and book jackets to grab the attentions of those who don’t have time to read. And Lords of Exile requires only one:

Dammit.

In a time of honor and history, the evil lord Galagar commands his hordes of demonic forces, each guided by a malevolent lieutenant, in an effort to destroy, not conquer, the entirety of the Land of Exile. All have fallen save one: a cursed knight, Gabriel, who is driven by thoughts of bloodshed and violence to extol the hymns of havoc and chaos that sing within him. Gabriel isn’t sure if he is strong enough to defeat Galagar, but forces beyond him compel his quest forward, and, with sword in hand and pain in his heart, he strives. Against all rational thoughts of survival and peace, he moves forward, destined to end this campaign of horror one way or another.

Lords of Exile makes some very bold claims from the very beginning, and, for the most part, Squidbit Works does a good job of delivering. To avoid confusion, let’s clear up one bit: when the game is talked about on the store page and in other locations, the term “metrovania” is dropped a bit. Recent memory focuses more on the “metro” version, but this is heavier into the “vania” area. That is to say, there isn’t really exploration and mysteries to discover, but more “gradually powering up through level completion, as well as incredibly difficult combat and movement that’s hampered by the limitations of the character.” We’ll expound on that in a moment, but I wanted to divert any misconceptions from the beginning: Lords of Exile is as linear as they get.

Now, if you’re looking for some tough-as-nails, gothic pixel drenched, pulsing soundtrack gaming, then you’re in for a treat. Lords of Exile pulls absolutely no punches from the very beginning, and players will find themselves eyeball deep in pain if they aren’t ready for it. Gabriel is a solid protagonist who quickly discovers a bevy of great alt weapons, including the coveted throwing scythe, and also acquires some good permanent powerups as he goes that makes the game theoretically more accessible. Things like the aura of spinning stars that deal damage three times before disappearing, the addition of a ghostly spirit who can throw projectiles and, most importantly, the double jump turn the game from good to great in the blink of an eye.

To be honest, I had such a blast with Lords of Exile from the drop that I barely registered how long I was playing because it hooked me immediately. Not only is the game well designed in terms of levels and areas, but it’s got this complexity that really works well with modern developers injecting contemporary ideas into retro aesthetics. There are enough hidden areas to keep you exploring and being rewarded, like finding an outpost to buy heals and weapon refreshes along the way. You get over how slowly Gabriel moves because nothing feels like it’s terribly outpacing you, or at least more than it should. You feel powerful and strong because you add the idea that you can’t die because of your curse and that keeps the narrative going when you get slaughtered by a boss and then come back for more.

The bosses are creative as hell, and I cannot overstate how much I loved the designs. For a pixel art game to really deliver something as memorable as the boar demon from Nagoro’s Wrath or the bastard demon boy at the Gates of Darkness is quite the accomplishment. Getting merked doesn’t bother me when it’s a genuinely cool surprise, and you find those all over the place in Lords of Exile. People rant and rave about the ways that Dark Souls and the like punish them, but we can still get the same level of brain bending pain here, and it runs on the Switch well!

And the soundtrack! I know that there’s this push for the music to have “anime touches” when it comes to the overall vibe, but the game kicks off with a chiptune track that sounds like someone tried to convert a heavy metal track into a Mega Drive and I am here for it. The music does such an incredible job of underscoring not only the action and the motivation but also the blood and the pain that comes from this journey. Gabriel’s actions didn’t just feel righteous, they felt vengeful, and I was completely into the moment as I pushed forward.

The further you get in Lords of Exile, the more that, well, things start to come apart just a bit. All the different areas are exciting to visit – underground waters, mountain tops, even a sort of factory area – but you get a taste of what needs to happen in order to succeed within the first two stages. The gameplan lays itself out without hesitation: you need to clear a screen, get ready to die once or twice on the next screen to understand when enemies will jump out or when platforms will dissolve, then move forward from there. Eventually you’ll get to the boss, and the boss will look cool and feel cool and then you’ll work out the pattern in two to four deaths. Even the final boss with some serious tonal shift took a little longer but not too long.

But the one word review of Lords of Exile comes from the moment when you, yourself, shift how you feel about the game. At first, the deaths and losses and missing a jump added to the mythology of it all. I am a peon in a greater machine that is chugging along, but I am determined to make my puny corpse count for something. You smile to yourself as you figure out the timing and the successes needed. Hey, this is awesome and you feel awesome being a part of the overall opera of Lords of Exile. Rejoice, rock out to the soundtrack, and keep trying to not die.

Then it all just hits a wall, and now it’s becoming less and less fun. If Gabriel was slightly more fluid in his jumps or walk, then you’d be able to get to that platform more easily. The expanse of water or lava is a bit too far and it’s just annoying that you can’t quite make it. Worst of all, you decided to take a break because, hey, you’re not a machine, and when you come back the game feels dreadfully unfair and unexciting as a result. How the hell are you supposed to make that jump when even a single jump gets you impaled on the insta-kill spikes? It doesn’t make sense, and now you’re not even in the “metal” mindset to push through the pain.

That’s when it hit me: you’re supposed to play this from the beginning only. I know that Squidbit Works didn’t want to release an indie game in 2024 without a save slot, but Lords of Exile is so horribly unfun to pick back up in the middle once you step away from it. You wouldn’t ask the game to tamp down the difficulty, but I also can’t magically psyche myself up to match where I was back at The Swamp Guardian when I stopped to eat lunch and go back to work. It’s a massive ask, but so were NES games back in the day! You almost never got a chance to save: you just had to commit these next three hours to getting your hands wrecked by a pointy rectangle and living with it.

When I reflect on my initial engagement with Lords of Exile, I was so excited and genuinely thrilled to be playing a retro metroidvania that both captured the feel and the thrill of being in that classic headspace, and that’s the position I want to remember. While I can’t recommend stopping and starting this game, it’s best to approach it as you would any NES game. Get fully immersed in the darkness and the frustration and just enjoy that momentum that comes from singularly reliving a time where gaming was simpler. Just rock out to the violence and know that not every game has to be a sixty hour long campaign. For just a handful of hours, be Vengeance, and then go back to your spreadsheets. It’s worth it.

Graphics: 7.5 Fantastic design for pixel perfect bosses and enemy sprites, plus a wide variety of genomes and areas to explore. Some things get a bit murky in contrast, and there is a confusion where the hit boxes are for errant hazards, but it only inhibits the gameplay towards the end of the game.	Gameplay: 8.0 Excellent execution of the hacking and slashing with gradual upgrades and enhancements to the protagonist. Choices of secondary weapons make for a varied approach in attacking the villains. Money is a bit too plentiful given how infrequently you spend it: would have liked a chance to buy more permanent upgrades to overpower myself.
Sound: 9.0 BANGING soundtrack, the chiptune approach to East Meets Metal is something inherently special and adds to the atmosphere and the feel for the game from start to finish. Fewer sound effects than you’d expect, but not to the detrement of the game overall.	Fun Factor: 8.0 When you’re in it, you are IN the game, fully feeling the power and the glory that comes with the combat of Lords of Exile. Dropping back in after some time away loses momentum, so it’s best played from front to back with proper fuel and no interruptions.
Final Verdict: 8.0

Lords of Exile is available now on PS4, PS5, Xbox One, Xbox Series S/X, PC and Switch.

Reviewed on Switch.

A copy of Lords of Exile was provided by the publisher.