It’s funny, I never thought I would be here reviewing a Jesus Christ simulator game, let alone this being the second Jesus Christ game our site has reviewed within a week. I guess with Easter coming up the Jesus games have risen. Don’t worry, we aren’t turning into a religious site pushing this onto anyone. I’m not even religious myself, despite being raised as a Jehovah’s Witness (I know). That being said, I’m not here to push my thoughts on religion or to judge anyone else’s faith. I’m simply here to judge I Am Jesus Christ, and my lord, I’m going to need a miracle here.

This is where I would usually sum up the story, give a bit of a synopsis of the game. However, I think we know what’s going on here. Even if you aren’t religious I’m willing to bet you’ve heard enough about the main bullet points of what Jesus did and what happened. You’ll be going through his main miracles like turning the water into wine, making bread appear, healing the sick, walking on water, and resurrecting the dead. Clearly this is still a very streamlined version of the story so there will still be stuff missing. Essentially, it’s the CliffsNotes version.

Spoiler alert, this creep betrays you.

I Am Jesus Christ is a first person open world adventure game with some lite puzzles to figure out. Gameplay isn’t complicated and there will be many times where you’d think this was just a visual novel. While the game is open world, it really didn’t need to be and you can tell the developers had no real plan to fill out the empty space. Not only do you have a Fast Travel option in between the cities if you’ve already discovered it, but when starting a new trek to a place you haven’t been the game offers a Quick Travel option. This instantly warps you to the quest so you don’t have to walk all the way there. There are no roaming caravans or other people walking, no random encounters with people who need help between the cities, so there isn’t any point making the walk.

The story is pretty straight forward and linear, however, there are side things to do in the cities. As you proceed through the game you will unlock your various miracles: Transformation, Healing, Exorcism, and Resurrection. Transformation is really only used in the context of the main story line like turning the water into wine, or making bread appear to feed the hungry. Healing will be used for leppers, innocents who were beat up by the Romans, and the crippled. Resurrection is another mostly used for story missions. Exorcisms will be the one with the most gameplay aspects, and let me get into that.

Before unlocking one of your main powers, you must finish a heavenly puzzle. It’s basically Bible quizzes.

Healing people is a pretty simple minigame. All you need to do is hover over the scratches or sores and click the spots to make them go away. Healing a cripple or resurrecting requires a minigame where you need to guide their soul to the pearly gates quick enough without the darkness capturing it. This same minigame is used a lot and for when you have to go against the Devil himself. However, Exorcisms you must use your Devine powers to stun a demon that simply zips around the area, and then drag it into a portal back to hell. You can’t fail it, the demon’s don’t attack you, all just stun them and drag slowly to a portal and repeat.

As you complete these missions you will gain increased Faith and Followers. Earning achievements by doing more of these also increases your follower count, which seems like something Jesus wouldn’t be doing. Giving himself personal achievements for doing things and rewarding himself. Regardless, I’m not sure what the point of increasing these are for? Obviously I know Jesus needed to gain followers, but why make it apart of the side missions and achievements like it means something to have more by the end of the game? Faith I kind of understand because you can use this for your Divine Vision (basically Jesus Witcher senses) to find things to interact with. As well as use Faith to stun demon’s and endure punishment from Romans. However, I did not feel like it was a system that needed to be used very much to have such a high pool of it.

Jesus vision! Sniff out those potential followers.

Besides this, the game is essentially a visual novel. You will go to the towns and do sermons, and between main missions they will tell you the Bible story of the event with the real scripture and a bit of a cutscene with it. I did like the sections where they were reading the Bible verses with the cutscenes. How it is shown and presented is cool, I’ll give them creative points for that. However, if you’ve ever been to church and been bored, you know how it feels waiting for it to be over so you can go have fun. Unfortunately, what makes even the Bible studies unbearable and all the times there are long talks is the very bad audio.

First things first, the game uses a mixture of AI voice over for quite a few of its characters and it is extremely distracting. Not only does the AI narrator and characters just sound bad, they often will say the wrong words or simply skip words entirely. It also not knowing the difference with homographs is hilarious, like it not knowing the difference between bow: like bowing to someone, or a weapon bow. It would often just use different words, for example, instead of calling saying The Fishers of Men as Jesus would put it (and what’s shown in the captions), they would say The Fishers of People instead.

Stun the Demons and slowly drag them back to their hell portal.

Then there are issues with it sometimes randomly changing the voice between scenes for some characters and even accents. The main narrator at first sounded like AI Morgan Freeman, but by the half way point he just started sounding like David Attenborough reading lines about a documentary. Besides the issues with the AI the rest of the voice acting is very bad and just doesn’t fit the characters at all. It’s laughably bad, and quite distracting when this is supposed to be a more serious presentation of Jesus’ life. Outside of the voice acting the soundtrack is some very basic church orchestra, nothing really great there either.

Visually, there is really nothing to be excited about. The character models are not great at all, and there is a shockingly small variety of them. There are so many repeated characters that I often forgot I was even talking to different people. Besides a couple of the main people like Mary, Joseph, the Devil, and some of the Apostles, the rest are hard to look at. The only thing that was actually pretty good were the environments. Cities looked okay as well as the wilderness areas. I will give props for some of the creativity when it came to the Devil parts with all the snakes and what they did there. Besides that, it’s just a lot of re-used assets everywhere.

I Am Jesus Christ is not a good game, nor does it do well in educating in a fun way. Sure, it may be better than the last Jesus Christ game we just reviewed, but that is an extremely low bar. I liked the idea of having open spaces to freely help out the ones in need, but the rest just falls short in just about everyway. The AI voices are distractingly bad, and the mini games are boring and tiresome. The most fun I had was sprinting around the city parkouring off fences, barrels, and rooftops like a holy acrobat.

I Am Jesus Christ is available now on PC.

Reviewed on PC with an i7-12700k, RTX 5070, and 32gb DDR5.

A copy of  I Am Jesus Christ was provided by the publisher.