Take a look at the picture below:

This is how Vroom in the Night Sky greeted me. It only got worse from that onwards. I should have known right from that moment that the best solution was to run away from this attrocity. To simple put, this is a game without a single redeeming factor at all, so let’s start the roast section.

 

The consists in guiding your “magical girl”‘s super not-fast motorcycle through a bunch of rings floating in the sky (did that remind you of a certain Nintendo 64 game featuring a DC superhero?), then reach a portal after you go through all of them. You can also get some primitive polygons from 1992 as extra points before reaching the portal. Use those points to buy new equally useless bikes. That is basically everything the game offers you, for the pathetic pricetag of nine dollars and ninety-nine cents.

What else do you get for this pricetag? Well, you get unbelievably ugly visuals, reminiscent of the earliest days of the 3DO and the Playstation. You get a very bland soundtrack and the worst motorcycle engine noises my ears had the pleasure to withstand. You get the most barebones gameplay the Switch can offer, and finally, you get cringe-worthy Engrish one-liners that are actually hilarious, but I bet that wasn’t the intention from the developers.

 

According to the developers, Vroom in the Night Sky‘s main highlight is its “revolutionary” use of the Switch’s HD rumble, in order to simulate a motorcycle’s vibration. What it really means is that the joycons constantly vibrate for no rational reason, which tires your hands after just a few minutes. You can also set the rumble levels on the game’s options menu, from weak to medium to, I swear I’m not joking, VIOLENT. The moment I saw this option was probably the most hilarious moment I had with this game.

Someone please remind the developers they were supposed to make a videogame, not a sex toy.

Stay away as far as you can from Vroom in the Night Sky. This game is inexcusably bad, with its only unintentional redeeming quality being the fact its Engrish is so broken it’s borderline hilarious.

The devs should be thankful that Life of Black Tiger (you can check the review here) was also released in 2017, or else Vroom in the Night Sky would win the title of worst game of the year by default.

By the way, if you check out this game’s trailer on the eShop, even the developers say the game is weird. Now that’s what I call marketing!