Review – Conan Chop Chop

I still remember Conan Chop Chop‘s first reveal as an actual game in development, and not just some silly April Fool’s joke. Furthermore, I had the chance of playing it back at E3 2019 ( nearly three years ago), expecting nothing from it, yet nearly missing out on later appointments that same day because I simply didn’t want to stop playing it. A Conan roguelike featuring silly humor and Cyanide & Happiness-esque visuals didn’t sound like a match made in heaven, but the folks at Mighty Kingdom and Funcom had, somehow, found a match made in blood soaked heaven. It took them nearly three extra years to come up with the complete game, but it was certainly worth the wait.

Conan Chop Chop Treasure Chest

Ladies and barbarians, I present you the best Conan game ever made.

The art style might be silly, but it’s intentionally silly. You can call Conan Chop Chop many things, but you cannot say there was no effort or love put into it. I was hooked from the moment I watched the game’s introductory cutscene. Not only did it look hilarious, with some panels even resembling the exaggerated facial expressions seen in cartoons like Animaniacs, but everything was completely voiced, and well done at that. Everyone involved in this game, be it the developers or the voice actors, clearly had a blast while working on it. Fourth wall breaks, silly gags, cartoon violence; Conan Chop Chop has all of those covered.

The core principle behind Conan Chop Chop is simple. Think of the gameplay loop seen in roguelikes like The Binding of Isaac, but with a more, let’s say, “barbarian” coat of paint, and a larger focus on melee combat. You do have access to bows and arrows, but your ammo meter (which acts like a stamina meter) is scarce and takes a while to reload. Explore randomly generated maps, search for loot, kill enemies, die over and over again, and use some of those resources to upgrade your barbarian for your next run. The game wants you to go full on Leroy Jenkins onto enemies, all while paying attention to their movesets and incoming attacks.

Conan Chop Chop Graphics

Leeeeeroyyy Jenkinsss!!!!

This is a small gripe in my opinion. While Conan Chop Chop is stupidly simplistic when it comes to its art style and controls, I feel like its controls could have been even simpler. Having to pay attention to enemy openings in order to properly parry them, for example, is nice and all, but when you’re literally told to “chop chop” like there’s no tomorrow, I honestly think the game would have been better if it were even dumber. I didn’t use half of Conan’s abilities – there was no need to use them. It’s not that they were utterly useless, mind you, but dash abilities, parrying shields, and other minor attacks just didn’t pay off as well as holding the right stick to a specific direction and watching your barbarian of choice mow down everything in front of them.

Another thing I need to point out is that, while hilarious and really entertaining if you decide to play it by yourself, Conan Chop Chop is the kind of game where bringing over friends to have fun with you is borderline mandatory. The action escalates pretty quickly, as the game doesn’t take long before shoving the screen with tons of enemies at once. Conan Chop Chop is the perfect kind of mayhem game, as raising hell is even part of its silly but forgettable plot.

Conan Chop Chop Death

It’s like they’ve read my mind.

Considering it was originally conceived as a joke, the fact that Conan Chop Chop might actually be the best Conan game of all time goes to show the sheer amount of dedication put into it by Mighty Kingdom and Funcom. Sure, it has issues, but its absolutely dumb art style coupled with a borderline arcadey “pick up and play” gameplay loop resulted in a nearly addictive roguelike experience that fits like a glove on a portable like the Switch. Grab a few friends, grab a barbaric ale, and have a blast playing this game until the break of dawn.


Graphics: 7.5

It looks intentionally crappy, which adds to the game’s overall charm. I actually like the dumb art style. I don’t like the repetitive backgrounds and designs, however.

Gameplay: 8.0

A weird case of a really simple control scheme that bites more than it can chew. I love the combat system, but I think the game would have profited from having even simpler mechanics, to match its silly looks.

Sound: 7.0

Despite not featuring the most impressive of soundtracks, I was positively surprised with the sheer amount of (funny) voice acting included in this game.

Fun Factor: 8.5

It’s infinitely better with friends, but Conan Chop Chop is still a blast if you play it by yourself, especially due to its “pick up and play” style, a perfect fit for the Switch.

Final Verdict: 8.0

Conan Chop Chop is available now on PS4, Xbox One, PC, and Switch.

Reviewed on Switch.

A copy of Conan Chop Chop was provided by the publisher.