Review – Warhammer 40,000: Shootas, Blood & Teef

You’ze know wots rong wit mostest Warhammer gamz? Dez all abot da stunties, or da pointy eared gits, maybe the warpies, an’ da RUNTY HUMIES. NO MOAR. Da boyz at Rogueside gunna fix dis now. Dez gunna make da biggast Warhammer gam evah. Nd dat gam iz Warhammer 40,000: Shootas, Blood & Teef. You krump da humies gud, shoot em rite in dere gobs. Deres plenty of shootas nd choppas, even da weirdboy get stukk in. An’ wen oda boyz git inna way, WE KILLY DEM GROTZ DED TOO. Letz ‘av atem now, shootin’, choppin’, lootin’ winnin’!

Da boyz git togetha to shoot grotz ded.

For those who don’t speak gibberish, there’s a new Warhammer game out! It’s called Warhammer 40,000: Shootas, Blood & Teef and it’s all about the Orks. The fan-favorite warmongering, battle loving, nonsense speaking greenskins who travel the galaxy in so-called green tides looking for a fight. With literally anyone, sometimes even against each other. Sometimes, even amongst themselves when they get really really bored. They’re fairly one-note, which is kind of refreshing when you consider the complicated politics, cultures, and beliefs of other cultures in the grim darkness of the far future. When it comes to an Ork, you know where you stand. You either shoot them, or get shot. Plain, simple, and perfect game material. 

Warhammer 40,000: Shootas, Blood & Teef is a 2D sidescrolling shooter. Think Contra and Metal Slug. You play as an Ork (obviously), with four characters to choose from. Weirdboy, an Orc mage with a lightning melee attack and grenade. The Beast Snagga Boy, who has an exploding spear and a homing bomb squig. Then there’s the Stormboy, who has a cluster bomb and a fire dash attack. Finally there’s the Flash Git, who just loves to shoot stuff and uses less ammo while shooting. He also has a Molotov Cocktail, so there’s that. There’s also a bunch of guns to choose from, all of which have wonderfully evocative and nonsensical names. Truly this is one of the most authentic and flavorful Warhammer games ever made, and I absolutely love it. 

Stoopid humies dunt think wez got stikkys for derez wheelz.

Fortunately it also plays extremely well. The level design is wonderfully complex, with plenty of paths to take. It may just be 2D left to right, but that doesn’t mean you can’t put some oomph into the design. This especially shines when playing in multiplayer, as even with four people at the same time, playing the maps rarely felt crowded. Combine that with gunplay that feels fantastic, a large variety of guns, and you have a game that gives Shredder’s Revenge a run for its co-op game of the year money. Whether it’s blasting through waves of humie goons, battling one of their war machines, or going toe to tow with other Ork boyz the action never dies down.  

Sadly, nothing’s perfect, and that’s never been clearer here. Warhammer 40,000: Shootas, Blood & Teef looks great, plays great, and the writing in everything from flavor text to dialogue is pure gold. Voice-acting is hammed up to eleven as a script like this demands, and the soundtrack is pure metal mayhem. Sadly, and inexplicably when you look at the game, it’s plagued with performance issues. FPS drops seemingly regardless of what’s happening on screen. The badass soundtrack statics and cuts out, again seemingly at random. And the loading times are dreadful, from starting the game to moving between levels. And while the game did receive a patch that alleviated these issues, it did not entirely solve them. Which makes what should be an easy win for the Warhammer brand, slightly murky. 

‘ERE WE GO BOYZ, KRUMP EM DED.

Warhammer 40,000 Shootas, Blood & Teef is a great fun co-op game with a little bit of an asterisk. It’s dripping in flavor, and the devs at Rogueside are clearly fans of the source material. This isn’t just some Space Marine cashgrab designed to milk money from desperate 40k fans. It’s a legitimately well-crafted game that should do a lot to improve the general opinion of Warhammer games. Sadly though, it suffers from technical issues that bring down the experience. Still though, in my opinion, the base game experience is still more than worth it. It’s just such a blast to play, especially if you have a friend or two around to join in. And if you’re an Ork fan? Dis gam is Gork’s gift to ur poncey namby pandy gob. 

Graphics: 7.0

The hand drawn graphics and art style are fantastic, the frame rate drops not so much.

Gameplay: 9.0

The controls take a second to get used to, but then combat feels smooth and plays great.

Sound: 9.0

The soundtrack is bonkers, and voice-acting is fantastically unintelligible for humie earz.

Fun Factor: 7.5

Even with technical issues, this game is a blast to play by yourself or with friends, so once they’re fixed up it will only become more so. 

Final Verdict: 8.0

Warhammer 40,000: Shootas, Blood & Teef is available now on PC, Xbox One, Xbox Series S|X, PS4, PS5, and Nintendo Switch.

Reviewed on Switch.

A copy of Warhammer 40,000: Shootas, Blood & Teef was provided by the publisher.