You can always count on Devolver, and its trustworthy partner studios, to release a game with a very interesting gameplay loop or premise, stuff you’ve never thought one would ever bother to come up with. Coming from the same people behind the Reigns games, as well as the oddly amusing Card Shark, The Crush House is the brand new addition to Devolver’s catalogue of “I have no idea what to expect from this but I’m still curious” type of games. Have you ever wanted to play a first-person simulator, with the objective of creating the most drama-drenched reality show in existence? No? I bet you’re still curious, though.

Fight! Fight!

The Crush House takes place in 1999, during the earlier days of the Big Brother craze. You are tasked with coming up with a reality show containing four people trapped inside a beautiful Malibu mansion, but wth a catch: if you don’t deliver results right away, your show is cancelled by the end of the day. You read that right. The pressure is on, as you’ll always have to please specific audiences, as well as sponsors and some other corporations which exist in this specific universe.

She’s so hateful. That’s why she’s a perfect asset for my trashy reality show.

I found the whole “immediate response from the public” aspect very odd, to be fair. The Crush House might be set in 1999, but its lingo, its audience behavior, everything screams “Gen-Z”, full of “LMAOs” and the like. I don’t understand why the game decided to go for a late 90s premise, considering nothing about it, from its characters to its humor, feel like the sarcastic but uplifting attitude we had back in the latter half of that decade.

That being said, the concept is indeed neat: you gotta select four people to populate your house, choosing them based on their personalities, and how well (or not) they’ll interact with other contestants. Your job, then, is to film everything with a portable camera. Think of it as Pokémon Snap, if you were stuck inside the Surreal Life reality show from VH1. Keep selling people their delightful, borderline Jerry Springer-ish trash television. 

I’ll be right back. I gotta puke.

The game is at its best when people with completely different personalities start arguing, to the point of becoming enemies. This is when you’ll be able to rack up audience points from drama queens and people who just love to watch the world burn. You’re also able to earn extra money by patiently inserting commercials in the middle of your live stream. More money allows you to buy more furniture and props for your mansion, pleasing different members of your audience. Finally, you are able to communicate directly to specific (and shady) companies regarding product placement opportunities and other events, all leading to stupidly predictable plot twists regarding the actual nature of the show, comments on society and consumerism, y’know, the usual stuff. Can’t say those impressed me at all.

And that’s the gameplay loop, to be honest. The Crush House thinks it’s complex and forward-thinking, but it’s mostly about a somewhat repetitive gameplay loop. Granted, it’s really interesting at first, but the novelty aspect wears off after a while. Considering the presentation isn’t exactly the most impressive thing in the world, with its “indie marshmallow”-esque graphics, boring sound effects (nobody talks or even does a Banjo-esque voice clip barrage, it’s just silly noises being uttered) and unnoticeable soundtrack, the game lives and dies by its gameplay and lasting appeal.

They were in love by the second day. They became sworn enemies a day later.

The Crush House is interesting at first, with a really novel concept and controls that are really easy to pick up, but its innovative aspect and replayability don’t last for long. Between its repetitive nature and predictable plot twists, you’ll only get a true kick out of it if you’re really into celebrity culture, trash television reality shows, and don’t mind some unsubtle jabs at consumerism, “bread and circus” mentality, and so on. Even if it didn’t wow me that much, I can’t call it a bad game. Also, if anything, it’s a stupidly creative title. It just needed a bit more substance.

The Crush House is available now on PC.

Reviewed on Intel i7-12700H, 16GB RAM, RTX 3060 6GB.

A copy of The Crush House was provided by the publisher.