2026 is the year of campy dinosaur adventures. With both Code Violet and Tokyo Scramble being decidedly “fun but inarguably not great,” players around the world are rejoicing in the deluge of frantic, silly fights against creatures from eons ago. But let’s not pretend this is the first time someone has done this very concept. You need only to go back to the 1990s to remember people losing their minds at the incredible realism of Jurassic Park and the subsequent series of titles that ranged from awesome to terrible but still had dinosaurs. Then, as Turok and Joe and Mac brought people to the forefront of the genre, we had a breakthrough. Dino Crisis was born, bringing all the jump scares and madness of Resident Evil with more camp, more silliness, and, of course, dinosaurs. Now, decades later, Steam users can finally enjoy it in all its polygon glory.

Heeeere’s Dennis Hopper!

What makes games of this era great is the absolute duct tape and rubber bands approach to the plot. You’ve got S.O.R.T., a crack team of agents who basically do special things, and got wind that a scientist, Dr. Kirk, who made renewable and clean energy, is on this secret island base. This is important because we thought the scientist was dead. Agent Cooper lets his team know, and then is eaten by a T-Rex. The others head to the base, where agent Regina becomes your playable character. Now you’ve got to figure out the secrets of this very mysterious and somewhat uninhabited island while also contending with the fact that dinosaurs are now on the island. What made this possible? Who stands to benefit from the so-called Third Energy? Do I have enough bullets to finish this game?

A chainlink fence! My old nemesis!

While I openly poke fun at the other modern dinosaur games, I adore the schlock value of Dino Crisis. It goes beyond the fact that this is definitely a Resident Evil analog that lifts so many ideas (including windows suddenly breaking during quiet moments) to make the story work. It’s the performances as well. It’s mostly voiced, and every single character seems to have gotten different notes about how to feel about things. Regina treats 50% of this “crisis” as a sarcastic joke. I don’t know if Rick ever fully appreciates the gravity of where he is at any given time, and he seems to be obsessed with just being flippant and full of pep. The fact that you run into a bisected body very early on and the only response is “That’s gross” tells you everything you need to know about Regina’s view on the entire ordeal.

As a game made for the PlayStation in 1999, there are some obvious shortcomings you need to deal with immediately. The tank controls, in spite of being charming for the time, are such a chore to try and get used to, though I appreciate things are smoother for Regina than the original Resident Evil titles were able to handle. The slightly awkward movement style only increases the anxiety and problems of trying not to be eaten by dinosaurs constantly. You’ll feel yourself doing well, and then BAM, you’ll glance off a wall wrong and need to spin around like you’re trying to parallel park an ATV while a raptor debates how fast or slow to eat you. Granted, if Dino Crisis allowed you to move like a human, the whole affair would be finished in forty-five minutes flat.

Additionally, the entire way the health of Regina is handled. You have the whole “look at your portrait and figure out how hurt you are” health bar, which blows, especially since chronically bleeding is something that can happen. You’ll see Regina limp and bleed depending on certain damage points, but it’s not a numerical thing, more of a vague guess. This leads to you needing to really gauge when you’ll be using healing items, which are scarce and further harder to decide upon with the limited inventory space you possess. Granted, this is balanced slightly by the ability to mix items to create either more potent or simply more of a product, but that gives item paralysis. Do I want to use this MedKit L ++ now, or wait till I really need it? Anyone who reached Kefka with twenty or more elixirs in their inventory knows what I’m talking about.

Just hold that pose for another eight minutes, Frank, we almost got the shot!

It should be noted that Dino Crisis Remastered has the option to play the game in several different languages and modes, including the original and arrange mode (which is Japanese versus American in terms of number of continues and code/item placement). Most of the differences between the two will be totally unknown for new players, so just consider how many times you think you might die. I wasn’t sure if there were different voices available, and I genuinely wanted to see if we had some Japanese dubs for the S.O.R.T. crew. Sadly, we do not, and be sure to keep that in mind. The save files between different languages are literally different games: if you swap to another region for whatever reason, you’re back at the opening gate, waiting for Gail to disappear and state the whole brouhaha. 

Just as a final critical note, this initial remaster is not particularly beautiful in terms of graphical upgrades. Most of the areas have been barely touched except for a general smoothening of some rougher assets. The menus and inventory look like they haven’t been changed at all. The characters themselves have gone through this smoothing process that frankly doesn’t look great. While it has taken off the roughness and the dinosaurs pop a bit more, the process has made the humans venture into uncanny valley in terms of facial features and lack of any kind of mouth movement. Perhaps by proxy, there’s now some jittery, errant movement from the characters when they aren’t actively doing something. It looked like Rick was dancing a couple of times I talked to him, and there’s nothing to dance about. Get your head in the game, Rick.

Having said that, all that remains behind is a truly wonderful and nostalgic experience with Dino Crisis Remastered. The gameplay remains intact, and you do get into a groove for movement and shooting rather quickly. The pacing is magnificently done, allowing you to slowly see more and explore more of the abandoned lab and island as the plot drags you deeper in. Exploration is key, and it only becomes more and more stressful the further along you go. You quickly realize you need to horde your bullets for important occasions, so needing to tranquilize dinosaurs is paramount. But here’s the thing: sleeping dinos don’t stay down forever, and they will be pissed when you get back up. There’s nothing like sojourning through multiple rooms, heading back to a spot you went previously, and finding out the hard way the raptor you left sleeping is both awake and hungry.

HR’s official statement is the employee was reckless with the coffee machine, and therefore we are not liable.

The game intensifies the deeper you get into the world of Dino Crisis, and this is where the easy and normal difficulty really differentiate. If you’re playing normal, right about the midway mark is where the game transforms Resident Evil to Clock Tower as your supplies dwindle, the danger builds and you become trapped in a warped maze of your own confusion. The landscape, combined with the not-especially-great map, will absolutely lead to exiting and re-entering the same den of death over and over. But, if you’ve decided to stick with easy, it becomes more of a walking simulator with occasional gunfire. This isn’t a complaint: I like my jumpscares to be easily remedied with bullets. The game has, quite cleverly, separated itself into two very different but equally enjoyable experiences, and the incentive to do it again once you’ve finished looms proudly and openly.

The plot twists are well known to everyone at this point, but my kids have never played Dino Crisis, so I got to share big reveals and sudden T-Rex appearances with them in real time, and that, unto itself, was a delight. We don’t play horror games because, frankly, many of the modern ones are genuinely terrifying and I want to make sure everyone sleeps at night. But what amounts to dinosaur marionettes and puddles of red pixels was just the right level of goofy fear. Plus, Dino Crisis was made sincerely, so the utter oddness of it all is genuine, which makes it even better to indulge. This is honestly better than Jurassic World: Dominion, so why not pick up this instead of a different dying franchise?

One of the greatest parts of Dino Crisis is that it’s a compact and straightforward game once you get the hang of things. As a result of being from a certain era, having a game that is between eight to ten hours while still nailing all the challenging moments of discovery, bosses and experimentations is a healthy amount of gameplay. If you know the turns and where certain items are, you can easily do a run in under six hours, making this the most streamlined dino adventure out there. It’s sizable enough to merit more than a quick afternoon to play through, but not so daunting that you wouldn’t want to go back and replay with all the costumes available to see which way Regina looks most ridiculous dealing with this nonsense.

AHHHHH I’M TRYING TO OPEN THE DOOR!!

 Lastly, I just sincerely appreciate moves like this from Capcom. All arguments about emulation aside, this is an accessible, affordable way to tap into a throwback title that never got a modern adaptation. While we all marvel at the shock value of Resident Evil Requiem or bemoan whatever the hell happened in the last Silent Hill movie, PC players around the world can quietly boot up the very best in dino horror survival and rock out like they’re the surviving members of Was (Not Was). Capcom might make some odd choices here and there, but bringing Dino Crisis back to the Steam storefront in a functional manner was a solid one. 

Dino Crisis is available now on Steam and GOG.

Reviewed on PC.