Sony, oh Sony. I was starting to think you guys had finally started to do some curation after prohibiting the sale of that pathetic piece of garbage that is Super Seducer on the PSN store, but I guess it was too early to celebrate. Instead of spending my hard-earned two bucks on yet another Rock Band 4 song, I went with this game instead, this so-called Little Adventure on the Prairie. I missed the opportunity of downloading yet another Bon Jovi song by getting one of the worst games I’ve ever seen on a console. Get ready, because this one is a stinker.

I am pretty sure this anime character’s design was stolen from somewhere else

Little Adventure on the Prairie is yet another poorly-developed cash grab aimed at insecure gamers who desperately need to get as many platinum trophies in order to keep their ego afloat. It’s a terrible 2D platformer with lazy graphics, lazy music, nonsensical controls, and an epic thirty minute duration.

This poor excuse for a game features twelve levels, even though it skips level 11 in favor of a level 13 for some reason beyond my comprehension. Your objective is to kill all the enemies in each level with your mighty sword. Although this is easier said than done, given the fact the controls are horrendous, it’s still ridiculously easy, as it’s a game designed to give out an easy platinum trophy after all. The combat can be summarized in one sword slash animation, in which you need to hope to the gods that the game will count your swing as a hit, given how the hit detection is as schizophrenic as Jack Nicholson’s mood onset. There are times when you can swing your sword three feet away from your enemy and it will count as a hit, there are other times when you’ll be glued to the poor foe and your hits won’t count.

Look at this sexy level design

As you can see by the pictures in this article, the game isn’t exactly a looker. The graphics reminded me of the days when I used to play Adobe Flash games on Cartoon Network’s website back in the early 2000s. What really impressed me is how this game manages to look worse than those browser-based titles. The environments are poorly assembled and the animations are nearly nonexistent. I doubt it took the developers more than a day to design all of the game’s 12 levels. Let me rephrase that, I doubt it took them more than an hour to design all of those levels. The game’s entire sound design is merely comprised of a handful of 5 second musical loops, with absolutely no sound effects whatsoever. Not a single sword swing sound, not a single orc growl, nothing. This is laziness taken to a whole new level.

That’s not a prairie, that’s a volcano…

Little Adventure on the Prairie may have given me an easy platinum trophy in less than thirty minutes, but that’s not something worth bragging about, it’s the complete opposite. Owning a platinum trophy for such an abomination of a game is like a curse: no matter what happens in the future, my profile will forever be tarnished with owning trophies from that game, as some kind of virtual herpes. Little Adventure on the Prairie is just awful, a game so incompetent in every single aspect that the developers couldn’t even number its levels properly.

I’ll leave you guys with this. Peace, I’m out.

Graphics: 0.5 It looks worse than the worst-looking browser game you have ever played.	Gameplay: 0.5 Even though you only walk, jump and attack, the controls are terrible. The hit detection is nonsensical.
Sound: 0.5 A handful of 5-second musical loops and absolutely no sound effects. Truly a work of art.	Fun Factor: 1.0 This game gave me a platinum trophy, and I feel extremely embarrassed about this fact.
Final Verdict: 0.5

Reviewed on PS4.
Also available on: PS Vita