Review – Postal 4: No Regerts
There aren’t many games that have managed to have immature humor, didn’t take itself seriously, had random gameplay, and also completely bored me without a single laugh or giggle. So, bravo Postal 4. It’s not like I’m too stuck up to enjoy dirty and immature jokes, I basically live those day-by-day, but when you deliver them with the gusto of a wet fart… actually that would have been better. Let me try again, when you deliver them with the gusto of an awkward tween trying to be edgy and funny on 9Gag, you’ve already lost me. Besides the utter lack of comedic timing or writing, the game is just broken in so many ways it was actively not wanting me to continue. So who am I to deny its request?
Apparently this game takes place right after the disastrous events of Postal 2, no there is not an actual Postal 3, with Postal Dude and his dog driving away from Paradise. After stopping at a gas station, his car and trailer are stolen, leaving him only with his dick in his hand. With everything he owned taken away, he now focuses on the local town of Edensin to make money.
Essentially the whole point of Postal 4 is to take random jobs around the town to make money, and sometimes when things get over crowded you can start a mini-game to go postal and clear it out. The “fun” is supposed to lie within the ridiculous side characters and the missions they have you do, but majority of the time the janky gameplay ruins it. Even when there is one semi-amusing idea of a side mission, it ends up feeling hollow because of how stiff and poorly done the world is.
Missions range from collecting stray dogs and cats to a van where it’s heavily implied the guy inside is just eating them. One will have you visiting an abortion faire to shut it down with various rides commenting on abortions. Another has you helping people cross the boarder by putting them in a giant slingshot and launching them over while boarder patrol is shooting at you. It’s not that I find any of these subjects or how it’s handled offensive, it’s just so poorly done that there’s no comedy to it. The missions are so matter-of-factly laid out that there is no point or humor made.
For example, there is a mission where you are hired by a plumber to go down into the sewers and clear out the clogs. This includes some mild platforming, moving boxes, and killing a few rats. What could have been a cool moment of a bunch of built up poo, à la Conker’s Bad Fur Day, turned out to be a simple act of hitting poop with a shovel until it disappeared.
However, there was one unique mission I did enjoy, but perhaps that was because the rest had been so terrible. At one point you end up turning into a cat after being drugged where you can climb walls, jump and scratch at people, and even chase a female in heat into a sewer to get some pussy. Then you’re jumped by a bunch of horny male cats that wanted to get there before you. This was an off the wall and dumb enough section to where it was enjoyable in a weird way, but it was the only moment.
Unfortunately, well, not sure if it is unfortunate, but the game started running into a ton of issues with glitches, and I was constantly being dropped through the floor. Missions weren’t progressing and I’d have to use a cheat from the developer on the steam page to skip to the next chapter. On top of that, any time you’d walk between maps the game would freeze in order to load the next section, even though the tunnel between maps should have been how it streams in the assets. Because of this I stopped caring about doing missions and decided to use God Mode, All Weapons, and Sanic Speed to try and find some fun.
Turns out this wasn’t all that great either. Shockingly, there really isn’t anything all that outlandish about the various weapons. The most bizarre one is a box of pigeons you can use as a grenade that unleashes a swarm… or should I say flock? Otherwise, it’s your standard handguns, rifles, rocket launcher, flame flower etc. There are some drugs to take, but even these were a let down only making the screen have rainbow colored waves. There was way more funny drug use in Wanking Simulator.
Visually, Postal 4 isn’t anything special. For the most part there does seem to be some genuine locations here that don’t feel completely ripped out of a UE4 asset flip, but the quality is still very low. Each section of the map is small and interconnected with long roads to help hide the loading, which doesn’t work at all. The map sections have a decent amount of NPC’s within them, but you’ll see the same character models bunched up everywhere. Nothing visually stands out as good looking besides the comic book still images used as the cutscenes.
Audio has similar effort as the visuals offering the same small sections of soundbites for the NPC’s which gets extremely annoying to hear. The same scream and voice for the entire crowd near you when you whip out your penis and piss on a cop just gets old. Most of the main characters are voiced which is nice, doesn’t mean it’s good, but I applaud the effort. I don’t expect indie games to have amazing voice acting. The other various sound effects like guns and explosions are all pretty low quality and lack any sort of impact.
Postal 4: No Regerts is a game that just couldn’t catch my attention even as someone who like dumb dirty humor and outlandish gameplay ideas. Its biggest failure is simply not being interesting and having decent jokes or at least more gameplay sections like the cat part. I know it tries to have some political commentary in here, but honestly it always falls flat. Besides that, the performance and bugs actively pushed me away from wanting to continue. Perhaps Postal 4: No Regerts should have pulled a Postal 3 and went non-existent.
The visuals look like something out of a quick asset flip game, with bad textures and worse character models. The best parts are the comic styled cutscenes.
Weapon variety was shockingly disappointing and, outside of a couple unique ideas, there is nothing special here.
Voice acting is terrible, with bad performances. Constant lines of dialogue on repeat. Nothing else really stands out.
Outside of couple unique ideas, Postal 4 falls extremely flat and just boring to play. That is, when bugs and crashes will even allow you to play it.
Final Verdict: 2.5
Postal 4: No Regerts is available now on PC.
Reviewed on PC with i7-9700k, RTX 2070, and 16gb RAM.
A copy of Postal 4: No Regerts was provided by the publisher.