One of the games that I noticed at BitSummit was an indie title published by HyperReal that always has someone trying it out. Entitled Telebbit, this neon soaked title with the cute but unnerving mascot always had at least one player sitting and a couple (or more) waiting there turn. There was a leaderboard that proudly displayed the numbers of folk who were able to accomplish the demo in record time, with people accomplishing the demo in five minutes, four minutes…some even less. Naturally, curiosity got the better of me, and I was able to secure a copy of the game to play in full. In spite of some really incredible design and effects, I’m afraid that Telebbit is not for me, because I value my blood pressure health over my gaming skill.

This is a weird path to walk to justify why we have an angry, teleporting protagonist, but okay.

You are a rabbit. You are a rabbit that has been abducted by a weird scientist. You’re a rabbit that has been abducted by a weird scientist and implanted with an experimental brain CPU to overclock your being and unlock your potential, very much against your will and the laws of nature. This brain computer allows you to tap into a slew of upgradable technology, the first being the ability to teleport via a sort of line-of-sight laser dash. This kind of inhuman experimentation isn’t really a good thing, and unlocks the part of a rabbit’s brain where you become a surly, revenge driven protagonist. Once you realize the scientist is doing these tests to support a dystopian group of uppity neoclassicists, it becomes easy to decide what to do next: burn it all to the ground.

Telebbit is, without any additional fluff, a tight, twitchy puzzler with speedrunning in mind. Each world that the rabbit inhabits is a series of single rooms that involve getting from point A to point B without dying. While the main character is a lagomorph, jumping is a rather minor ability. Instead, it’s a combination of the teleportation gun and some gradually enhancing additional elements that allow you to really traverse. While the initial setup is fairly straightforward (teleport to any white tiled surface) you begin adding more and more complexity from random computers you find. You begin with having the ability to create a teleport anchor point, then add in a secondary laser that is a Swiss army tool and so forth. By the time you’ve reached the end of the game, the rabbit has so many additional abilities it’s easy to lose track of things.

Protip to all evil scientists: don’t monologue, just murder.

I’ll be honest, Telebbit is a bit of a hard sell because it’s truly a difficult, punishing title. Even from the very beginning, you find there’s almost no quarter for how you can and cannot succeed. The teleportation mechanic isn’t some grand free-for-all: having limited landing pads on which it works forces the player to think creatively right away, and be ready to react in order to not get stuck or left behind while you’re still getting your bearings. Once you introduce enemies, the rule becomes that enemies are also teleportation anchor points (with the caveat they get destroyed upon arrival), so that feels like it should be more helpful. Instead, now you’ve to consider moving, temporary spots that can and will respawn quickly, potentially killing you if you’re too slow on what to do next.

Every new wrinkle is a massive uptick in what you need to do, and it compounds way too fast. The inclusion of the laser is now a straightforward bolt of energy that can break down some walls and act as a double jump, but also has only two charges and needs to be refilled through defeating enemies or finding charge stations. You’ll have panels that must be fired upon to unlock doors, but there are multiple panels, and they must be done in the same, limited window and won’t keep the door open for long. And don’t get me started on the mice: little red mobs who don’t die when you teleport into them and actually eat anchor points, removing the one edge you had about setting up a teleport and not needing to use it immediately. It constantly raises the bar on unfairness, and does so without apology.

A rare moment of something actually going right as I blast through ground rubble.

Which makes sense, at least from the perspective of the titular Telebbit. After all, this dystopian landscape is a cruel mockery of being alive, and the game is very unabashed in the tonality. The world is done up not in blacks or grays, but almost empty, void tones with accents of neon that are pulsing and toxic in nature. The “humans” that you encounter, by and large, don’t have names, just numbers, and are ignorant to the concept of souls and individualism. And the rabbit itself is so very, very angry at the unapologetic scientist and his goons that created the rabbit and shaped this world. His shape is so cartoonish and wildly out of place in this cyberpunk nightmare it almost makes sense that he’s filled with rage and violence.

And there are great aspects to the game, please don’t get me wrong. The level design, while almost devoid of room for error, is clever and intuitive, giving players space to see how they’re supposed to move and survive. There aren’t any limits to the number of deaths you have, and your expiration comes with a colorful splash of neon blood, allowing you to see where you failed and what you might be able to do right next time. You have these carrots (which the rabbit takes great offense towards) that can be collected for the bonus point of several stages. And the boss battles (yes, there are boss battles) were a welcome breakup of the formula, allowing you to incorporate the skills of each “world” into dealing with a singular entity that was almost relaxing compared to the stress of the standard stages.

Helpful neon splotches show you everywhere I died!

I think what really inspired me and got my attention at BitSummit was the tight and limited nature of the game within an event space. Being able to quickly pick up skills, make it through a set number of levels and try to beat the clock is ideal for any gaming situation, and it allows you to compete, even in your own mind, against other players. Telebbit is perfect in small doses, particularly if you’re looking to develop and improve over a period of time. If we equate gaming to exercise, I like to have my routines stretched out over time, like I was marathon training. You can’t pick up Hollow Knight or Constance and be perfect immediately, but you’ll know the framework: walk around, attack some things, and find a way out. It’s only when you’re trying to go further that you need to build up and get better.

Telebbit is the Crossfit of platformers. The intensity is immediate, unrelenting, and shockingly gets higher the longer you play. You need to push, to force yourself to get good in the developers’ eyes instantly, or you won’t even get out of the first room. It’s not the unfair surprise challenge of Dark Souls or I Wanna Be the Guy, it’s getting dropped into military boot camp and needing to adjust as fast as possible. If you’re looking for a game that will challenge your reflexes and question your sanity, Telebbit is a fantastic and meaty fit. But, if you want something to help you enjoy a peaceful afternoon, or to unwind after a long day at the office, go hop along literally anywhere else.

Telebbit is available now on Steam, PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X|S and Nintendo Switch.

Reviewed on Nintendo Switch.

A copy of Telebbit was provided by the publisher.